How many times have you been in conversation and are at a loss to understand someone’s real motive or desired outcome? People are always giving clues about what’s important to them. There is a method to quickly determining someone’s Real Intent or desired outcome. Carefully listen to the verbs they use in conversation. The predominance of specific sets of verbs will identify their intent. Not all verbs count, as we need some verbs to make sense of the subject matter. It’s the repetition of a set of verbs that are predominant in the conversation that counts. Any form of these verbs counts as identifiers.
If someone is speaking, be aware of any form of these sets of verbs:
Set-1: See, Appears, Visualize, Read, Clearly, Look-uses “you’re.”
Set-2: Say, Tell, Speak, Hear, Listen, Talk-uses, “you.”
Set-3: Sense, Believe, Imagine, Seize, Fair, Honestly-uses “I.”
Set-4: Feel, Support, Touch, Comfort, Help, Care-uses “we.”
Set-1: Is interested in gaining Knowledge and Understanding by searching for evidence- Focuses on Quality, being “Right.”
Set-2: Is interested in producing a Result, something Tangible by aligning with past experiences- Focuses on Quantities, get it “Done” quickly.
Set-3: Interested in ensuring Reliability and a new way of Thinking by flipping things upside down to start with the end first-Focuses by Personalizing things and making things better.
Set-4: Interested in Accommodating others and giving Agreement to maintain a non-disruptive environment-Focuses on what’s important to them, self-indulgent objectives.
Once you understand the Real Intent, you can Focus your conversation in alignment with the other person’s Real Intent to reduce stress and gain Agreement. Real Intentions means that not everyone is seeking the same solution that you desire.